What Makes You You? 3: Valuing your Personality Preferences

Do you value What Makes You You? Knowing and valuing your psychological type, as well as valuing you personality preferences will help you to raise your energy levels, secure positive relationships with those around you and give you more time to do the things you want to do.

Why do we tend to value what other people can do more than what we can do ourselves? This is the $64,000 question we ended on in the ‘What Makes You You 2’ blog. As a coach this is the question I find leads to the most eureka moments for my clients. Knowing and valuing your personality preferences / psychological type enables you to identify and capitalise on working in the way that motivates and energises you and enables you to achieve success in every area of your life.

So – why do you

. . . place less value on your way of making sense of the world and responding to it? Once you understand how your preferences operate then it all becomes very obvious.

When you are operating in your preferred way it is so easy and effortless, so much just part of how you are at a deep psychological level, that you are often not aware how skilful and effective you are being. This is partly because what is easy and effortless you can quite happily leave to your unconscious to manage on your behalf. In just the same way you leave your unconscious to run your breathing or to get you to that regular destination safely even when you have other things on your mind. What I have referred to previously as our ‘automatic pilot’. This frees up our mind and gives us the space to focus on the things that require more attention or concentration. Things that are new, that are particularly relevant for us at that time or that we find more difficult.

It is also because we tend not to value anything that we find easy and effortless.


A quite understandable piece of logic usually kicks in here – ‘because’, you say to yourself, ‘if I find it easy and effortless then everybody else must find it easy as well’. The reality is, they don’t. Like you, their deeper level preferences are working mostly out of sight. In the same way as you are marvelling at what they seem to be able to do so easily, they are marvelling at what you can do. Sound familiar? Or when somebody expresses amazement at how easily and effectively you can do something, do you just shrug it off? We all tend to be guilty of focusing on what we can’t do rather than building on what we can do.

What is important about personal preferences

. . . is that none of them are better or worse, more or less effective than other preferences. They are just different. We will all get to the same place, just in our own way. What may happen as you go through life, however, is that you are persuaded – by yourself or by others – that your way of doing things is better or worse. If this becomes a belief, then you carry it around with you for the rest of your life (which may be helpful or unhelpful depending on the belief) or until you find out about preferences, perhaps by reading something like this blog.

Can you think of an example of something that you were told was the best way of doing something which you struggled to do, perhaps when you were a child or at school? Like building a model or writing an assignment. Is this still something you struggle with or have you realised that you have a much easier or quicker way to do it that is just as successful? Or, have you just accepted that it is always going to be difficult and not considered that there might be a better way for you?

Knowing and understanding your psychological type or preferences
is a brilliant way to start challenging
some of those beliefs about what you can or can’t do.
But – will it be time well spent?

This is the focus of my next blog – What Makes You You 4.

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